Nothing left to lose.
/
I’m unsure when exactly I accepted this story as truth. Maybe it was sitting in church pews for the entirety of my youth and observing this: Some folks were born with the singing voices of angels, but the rest of us? We were somewhere on the spectrum of mediocre to the poor things that couldn’t carry a tune to save their lives.
I was definitely in Camp Mediocre and while that didn’t keep me from singing, it never occurred to me that if I’d sought out some training like vocal lessons, I could get better. I honestly thought that one was born talented and the rest of us were doomed to oridinary and that was just one of life’s many fates. Holding tight to this belief kept me from pursuing many creative identities that I longed to try on. I wasn’t a virtuoso so I didn’t see the point.
Because of the intense self-examination I’ve done in the past decade, I’ve been able to drill this story down to fear, specifically, fear of rejection. It was only until I went to back to college a second time, when I finally gave myself permission to follow a creative curiosity, permission to be mediocre, to discover that I wouldn’t die from constructive critique, that one can practice their way into talent that I changed my story.
I’ve been doing my creative work long enough now that sure, I’ve had a few accolades but the bliss I expected to result has been so brief, it’s hardly left an impression. I’m not impervious to the dopamine rush of validation, but I see it as a false flag. I’m optimistically driven to create and share regardless of applause, criticism or indifference, hand to heart.
If you can rise above the clouds of needing validation, you can see for miles.
Next Week: It’s all information.
I’m having an end of Gemini Season Sale! Take 25% off of anything in the Marketplace by entering the code GEMINI23 at checkout! Offer is good through midnight, 6.21. Hope you find your soulmate!
