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“I’ve been thinking a lot about mobility” is a helluva accurate way to say you’re over 50 without saying you’re over 50.

I was around a lot of family members with mobility issues this week. Some of these folks were experiencing good old fashioned degeneration that comes with age, albeit a tad early. Others’ issues were due to more lifestyle choices along the lines of ‘use it or lose it’. I don’t know how inspiration works for you, but I’m more often motivated by what I DON’T want than what I want.

I’m also not much for regret. Because I have personal experience, I believe humans are capable of dramatic change. I have a way of being (enneagram 7ness) that I don’t dwell in the past, present me with any turd and I can polish it to a shiny jewel, and I have a strong desire to mitigate any future regret. There is a downside to this (I can pretend I’m above consequences) but for the most part, this has served me well.

(As an aside, for years I drank beverages that made me fall down but I *just remembered that and that is proof of my superpower ability to spin.)

For instance, I birthed my daughter at an ‘advanced age’ but she motivates me to pursue vitality and yes, mobility. I even told my husband while out on one of our many weekend walks, “If I couldn’t do things like our 12 mile hike in Big Bend this summer, I’d really have to consider if this {gesturing wildly} is worth it all.” Dramatic much? Or not?

I woke up before sunrise this morning in a disturbing lucid dream state and wrote straight in my journal, “Why does not having mobility scare me so much?” Is it because I’d have to put a cap on my options, like never learning to tango in Argentina? Or spend days wandering the Louvre? Or walking the Camino de Santiago? If the possibilities that could make life amazing went away, then I’d just have to accept my average life. Why does that sound excruciating?

Next week: More on The Average Life ™

PS. Well, due to very life-y life last week, including a middle school graduation, a parental visit, a cousin grad party and numerous games of Scrabble, I was unable to list all of my new items in my Marketplace. However, I did manage two new silk fabric cuffs. Making these are a way to use up scrap bits and bobs and exercise a sort of creative improv: I never know how they’re going to turn out until I’m finished. I call them art for your arm!

The Middle-Age Gaze

As my personal new year approaches, I’m reminded how grateful I am to have a June birthday. Seasonally, I’m peak-idea manifestor. In January, the traditional NY, my ideas are soft, sleepy and slow, like winter mornings and me. In Spring, they have a shape, feel more seeded. But come Summer, they are fruiting. So birthdays, especially since I hit my mid-40s, are a ticket to change.

I had this idea to transition my photography career, put all of eggs in one basket and focus on one genre, solve one problem. And it’s a problem I share with my avatar: I want my creative work to be meaningful to me, I want cohesion but I don’t want to be bored, I want to serve up beauty on a platter to whomever wants to eat, I want to look how I feel and most days, that’s inspired, curious, satiated and yeah, beautiful.

I put out a call for volunteers because photography is one of those creative acts that just feels stupid to talk about. You got to show it, not tell it. I summoned women over 40 who were in a creative career, enjoyed a creative hobby or desired to transition from Not This, to This. Because I believe that women over 40 can resist the invitation, the invitation to step into an identity that they haven’t yet mastered, to answer a call even when they don’t recognize the voice, to want validation even while giving less fucks. I had a hunch I wasn’t the only one who needed this but I told myself I’d be grateful for 2 responses. I got 15. Validated.

I’ve been having the most affirming consultation sessions with these women and I’ll have my first session in two weeks, the week of my new year. Launching this, everything else I do falls right in line. Writing about middle-age, passion, transitions, recovery, craft and art in this newsletter, making garments that reflect the vibrancy of the feminine mystique while also honoring my commitment to live less harmfully and creating imagery under the middle-age gaze that serves women in their most dynamic years of their lives, feels, yeah…this is it.

I’m excited to take you with me in my transition. I’ll see you every Monday! (Yes, I said it!) I look forward to sharing more of my insight into middle-age, creative purpose, and rewilding beauty into my everyday.

I’m looking at you, 54.

PS. As always, the shop is open! A few silk dusters have been added and lots more coming this week. Check my instagram periodically for drops (via goofy dance reels, most likely).