Anything but this.
/
If you ask me how I’m doing right now, I’m going to say I’m busy.
Yeah, I’m suspicious of that word as much as the next person but with a thousand photos to edit from two back-to-back weddings, a few custom stitching orders, personal work and the tasks of my part-time job and my volunteer job and my Mom job, it’s economic. And yet, it’s inadequate. It’s a word that is devoid of emotion and often that’s fitting because when the plates are all spinning, I can operate best devoid of emotion. Emotions aren’t efficient. But that is not this time, not this season, not the truer story.
Nor is writing efficient. I don’t have time right now, check back in two weeks, I tell it. But if you are a writer of any kind, you know that it doesn’t work that way. It’s only patient for so long and when that runs out, the time it chooses is never convenient. I have to say, I admire its persistence.
The thing that has to be written right now is the thing I most don’t want to write. It’s bargained for my attention many times and my response has always been a firm Nope. And it’s not like writing doesn’t exist on this topic but that’s the thing about shame, it feels so singular.
So here I sit, writing you this letter that I don’t have time for to tell you about sentences that are being laid down in my journal that I don’t have time for, and yet this story insists. If emotions carry information, then the doggedness of shame that insists it’s art I guess deserves some reverence. Dammit.
Is there a story inside of you so dogged that it insists it’s art? Maybe you’ve already course-corrected, changed your ways and changed your story, but it’s still there, patiently waiting to be told. I can help you. If you want to get it down in words or in visual art, check out Change Your Story. I have spots open this Fall to work with me 1:1 in either 4 or 8 week sessions.
Does your particular whispering sound like, Anything but this? We can walk towards that voice together.