Just Call Me Miss A. Chance

I guess that's better than Miss A. Ditch or Miss A. Self-inflicted-black-eye. 

Do you ever wake up incredulous that you were never a dancer on Broadway even though the religion practiced in your childhood home forbade public dancing so the nearest you ever got was memorizing Pat Benatar's moves from Love Is A Battlefield via MTV?

Are you ever in disbelief that you don't have a song on the radio because you are at least as good a singer as Cher or Madonna but you've never even had one voice lesson? 

Are you astonished that your book hasn't been turned into a movie yet when you haven't even written the book?

JUST ME???

And these aren't even missed opportunities, really, they are opportunities never pursued. I simply made other choices that WEREN'T THESE. Yet, why do I still long for the ships that have sailed? Arguably, I can take a dance class and a voice lesson and write a book...all of these are available to me (especially as a woman who no longer wakes up with a hangover). What are most likely not available, though, are the accolades and validation and I'm embarrassed to admit that sometimes this keeps me from the pursuit of desires this late in the game of life. 

So yeah, I just said that. 

I will forever be a cheerleader for any woman in mid-life who wants to start something new, fulfill a dream, do something unexpected but if there is resistance because without recognition from at least one person, why bother...I get it. I haven't parsed out if social media culture has done this to us or we'd feel the same if we were 50 in the 80's. I guess it doesn't matter, it exists even if I haven't excavated the Why. 

So tell me, friends, do you pursue things just for the sheer pleasure and with nary a nod to validation? Do you give one flip about fame and fortune when considering a longing (and by fame and fortune, I mean some social media high-fives or an atta-girl from a friend)? If you answered YES to either of those questions, show me your ways, Miss R. U. Yoda!

As for the ships I did catch, I am a pretty good sustainable designer and seamstress. I've put in the time so I can say that with 100% confidence (which gives me less need for validation, interestingly enough). If you do want to give me some atta-girls, however, I'll take them.