It’s like that but better.
/I spent the entire cash option jackpot for last Wednesday’s billion dollar Powerball in my head as soon as I purchased the ticket: Trusts for all of my family members, a few financial and real estate investments, solar panels on the house, electric cars and bikes, all the business equipment I’d ever need with a ten year rainy day fund and the rest, I’d donate to climate change science. It felt like a plan.
And as you’ve probably guessed, I didn’t win. I folded up my lottery ticket to use as a bookmark and got back to the day’s work. Hope feels really good. In fact, I don’t think I could exist without it but there’s something that feels even more amazing than hope. When I indulge it, it’s like riding on a cotton candy cloud, all the cotton candy I can eat, it’s an edible cotton candy cloud of magical thinking and I could ride it for days and days, that is, until I was wake up in a confection stupor and realize I’ve done nothing but daydream for a week and I’ve not marked a single task off my list.
Not that a week of thinking is all bad (I’ll get back to this in a moment) but for me, I have to be mindful of the category of thinking I’m indulging in. Is it magical or is it productive? And do I have a plan for implementation? What are my actions to back it up? I don’t think time dreaming is time wasted however, magical thinking has a threshold where it can begin to feel like gluttony. Because of my many years of Enneagram study, I know my job as a 7 is to bring in emotions on purpose. When I’m feasting on all of my ideas to the point of making myself sick, the anecdote is to check in with my heart. When I allow my heart to have a say is when I get really juiced, I’m most alive, and I’m more focused on my purpose.
Allowing my heart to take the occasional wheel has give rise to a creatively fertile Summer. My heart has allowed me to grieve the change of the climate, sleep and nap (and I’m historically not a napper),has led me to early morning cold and soothing swims and has offered me some very viable solutions to some of my problems. I’ve really taken my heart to task, plying her with questions like, How can I continue to do what I love that is in flow with the current economy? How can I use my talents and skillsets to serve in the best possible ways? What offerings feel right on my conscious as the effects of climate change are pressing on us in real time?
I’ve worked out some answers. It’s still hope but it’s hope with a plan. I’ve teased out my new photo campaign but I’m not done yet. I’ll share a few more shifts in my business, creative work I already do but a shift in how I package my gifts to share with you and the world.
In the meantime, I’d love to know, what is making you feel hopeful right now?